10 things I Learned from Watching Porn

1. You can choose where he finishes.
-Now most men I think would say that face is the best place to finish, but I think most women would prefer it in the trashcan, no clean up!

2. The sexiest thing you can leave on is your heels.
-Besides a smile, of course!

3. Blowjobs equal no problems.
-Whether it be a speeding ticket, past due rent, a pizza delivered to your house, no problem.

4. Men are ALWAYS hard.
-Always rock hard and ready to go!

5. Getting caught is a good thing!
-If a guy is caught cheating by his girlfriend she isn’t even mad, she’s turned on! Or if you catch a girl masturbating she won’t know what to do with herself besides start fucking…you!

6. Men and women orgasm at the same time.
-And the louder the better!

7. Positions are important.
-It is best to change positions every 2 minutes.

8. Blow jobs make girls moan.
-Really everything makes a girl moan.

9. EVERY girl is bisexual.
-They just don’t know it yet.

10. Virgins are quite skilled.
-The way they just know how to fuck and suck is just instinct, I guess.

(this blog was a joke, in case you happen to be a moron.)