Before you get your hopes up, I’m not an amatuer drug dealer. Math? Yeah, right. Math is a bag of dicks and I will have no part in it when not necessary. Or when completely necessary. Ugh. This is so not a story about any of THAT, more about my “burner” phone I use currently for all my “adult-chat-host” duties. (fyi, BURNER: a prepaid cellphone to be used for “dealings” of sort for a temporary amount of time, minutes maybe, and then disposed of….you narc.) A couple months ago I got my mobile with a sort of plan. I have no idea! Anyway, I spent a good hour of my time, “precious moments type shit” of time, by the effing way, trying to pay my bill ON TIME. I fussed with it so much my credit card was forced to wait 24 hours for any more online action. See, I would expect this shit if I was paying for something super stupid or super late, but I was actually being 28 about this situation! So during this 24 hour break I got a text from the phone people that my service was going to be interrupted. No. No dice, amigo. This was the previous evening, Tuesday, so Wednesday I had the only option of going into Walmart and pay a cashier or some shit. As I am writing this it is sounding like a tainted STONEYBOLOGNA event, trust me, so not. Although I wish I had been baked as I shouted my phone number out loud in a crowded customer service center for the 15th time, which oddly enough makes you start delivering the number in question form. At one point she was telling me my number. Now since I had previously spent my frustrated curses at technology at home I calmly watched these two women lose their minds trying to figure this payment thing out. We actually moved the problem from the register to one of the woman’s own personal cell phone. (Which now that I think back on it, was showing off, Walmart bitch.) Stupid story short, I bought a completely new phone. And wouldn’t you know it, the set up was fucking intense! An hour later I was content though. *bows* The end? Just playin, end. Oh, and if you are looking for a drug dealer and find one, TELL EM, BELMONPAR IS LOOKIN’ FOR SOME WEEEEEED! HA HA HA HA HA! Thanks.
1. Be Patient…A potential top or mistress /domme will let you know if she is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realization of your fantasies. Don’t expect your top to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.
2. Be Humble…You may be God’s gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the “real you” will show through in a scene. Don’t set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you and your top can never reach.
3. Be Open…You can learn something about SM and about yourself from everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced they are, or how dominant or submissive they are. D/s- SM is a very personal art, and an “I already know it all” attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable D/s-SM friends.
4. Communicate…Verbalization is necessary, but at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn offs. But – unless it’s an emergency – wait until your top asks. Don’t expect your dominant to be a mind-reader who instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. Your cooperation will enhance the scene for both of you.
5. Be Honest…Don’t be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turnoffs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the top will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.
6. Be Vulnerable…Your scene is a two-way street. It is not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies. If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your top ahead of time. But don’t always expect your top to be a puppet in a fantasy play you’ve written in your head. It’s far better to let your top surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you to places you’ve never been before. When you trust your top completely, let her know it, and let her guide you into new fantasies.
7. Be Realistic…Your dominant is human, and even the most experienced tops have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don’t call attention to what you perceive as a lapse. Know the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines. Few tops are rich enough to afford a large dungeon with a lavish layout of equipment. Your top’s equipment is expensive – respect it and don’t abuse it.
8. Be really Submissive…This is the whole point. Let your dominant take you over completely. Don’t coach or second guess or be critical of your top. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! If you insist on running a scene to your own specifications, then loyal and dependable and enjoy your role
9. Be Healthy…D/s-SM, like any strenuous activity, requires that its participants – both active and passive – be in top physical and emotional health. The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene. Your dominant needs to know when your physical or emotional energy is low. No matter how tempting a scene sounds, an “I want it all now” attitude when you aren’t able to give your all will leave both of you feeling let down. You serve your dominant and yourself best by staying healthy.
10. Have Fun…After all, sex/play is all about having a good time. You have earned and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasure which comes from responsible, creative D/s-SM play.
I recently saw a pic of a girl using a tampon to remove her toenail polish. Good idea, but certainly not great.
Back when I was stripping in Colorado I was having a rather uneventful evening. I didn’t really know any of the girls that well yet and was anxious to make friends. Now remember I am at a sleazy strip club, not Summer camp….don’t want to lose you!
Back to the boredom ( I would soon dismiss), I was sitting in the dressing room and someone (most likely, me) joked/suggested dipping a tampon in some vodka and then inserting it. I mean, “its alcohol so its sanitized”, was my first PRO. ANd the liquor would get into your system so quick! A PROs and CONs list thats all PROs? So I (since I was the bitch that thought it up) and this girl put vodka soaked tampons up our pussies and began a lasting friendship.
SWEAR TO GOD! She is still one of my best friends even named me godmother to her son.
True fucking story.
I can’t believe this thing, this entirely encompassing feeling that comforts my soul and feeds my heart, heartily and leaves only the most selfish and dark parts about me wasn’t introduced to my world until 18 years old. Of course I am speaking of Led Zeppelin.
I was in college when I first heard this music. Actually it was my first day or week or something astonishing like that when my life changed for the better, musically speaking. The first song I heard was “Over the Hills and Far away” in my dorm mate’s car. I had heard OF this “band” but never experienced this “band”. I use quotations for the mere fact of categorizing them. Anyone who has heard one song knows a word hasn’t and will never be created to properly define what is Led Zeppelin.
Like most humans I am a music fan. Leaving high school an emo in transition to being normal (well, at least less moody) I didn’t know what I would fill my Taking Back Sunday void. Long story super duper short, problem solved. I mean, I onced drove an entire car trip back home from college one weekend visiting listening ONLY to “Misty Mountain Hop” the entire 9 hour voyage. That is how effing good each individual song is! Pick any of them. It’s right.
I better wrap up this gushing by explaining that when I decided to drop out of college middle of my Junior year I took my love for this music with me on my journey to eventually the adult industry. I kept my real name (to piss off my mom. Sorry, mom.) Courtney and added Page……after the dragon suit dotting guitar god, Jimmy Page.
(I smiled the entire time I wrote this.)