About a billion years or so ago I was in my early twenties and just not a happy camper. I guess mood affects camping so I decided to be a happy camper, well Prozac and I. Who am I kinding, PROZAC and that alone. Which was GREAT….until I learned it had strong sexual side effects. It completely wiped away my bodies knowledge on climaxing. I mean, the clit is still there and the rest but after 2 hours masturbating is quite the chore. Like a chore where you sweep up dirty into another spot on the floor. AGGRAVATING torturus! Now I dont know chores, didnt have them growing up but watchig my friends was agony.
Anyway, I figured that life could ok with private super happy fun time. SUPER WRONG. Even while still performing scenes (you know) I thought that would sistain me. Why go manual when its really not even necessary (or probably a kind act to a pussy in porn). Either I am crazy enough to know for me its either orgasms or become a serial killer. I am serious. Since 13 it was like clockwork with my “djing”. I mean, literally, 12 minutes when I looked at the clock.
No body likes change.
Well I (not bragging, so NOT bragging) have been on quite abit of medication. Not a cocktail, but testing this pill at this dose and this one to released at an extended speed. I had a state assigned mental care facilty so its either guinea pig up or wisse up and learn medication. Enough so i could talk with a doc and say well this has this in it and blah blah blah (pretend thats a convo between colleagies). And like a public defender, a court orderd psychiatrist is useless. I just needed his degree thing on the wall and that presccription pad and he happen to have it. I had the klnowledge likie a pharmaceutical rep and he had that. Its called teamwork, people.
When I left California in 2012 or 13 I took myself off prozac. I, by no means, suggest anyone become their own psych doc and make those decisions but I am the shit and learned my shit on some doctor level SHIT.
I chose this subtraction at that point in time knowing that Cali had been quite the bucking bronco ride. Physically, mentally, whatever. Arizona was where my Grandparents had lived forever. Talking tame life. You cant get wild in 110 degree weather. You just cant. PLUS, i missed “djing”.
Long story poointless, I got my GROOVE back, Stella style. How was I excisting like this, no GROOVE thing??? Oh thats right. Fucking crazy ass whoopin it up in Hollywood. And I guess that fucking helped, but it aint no mhmsjmfnglwgjeszit. Get me?
Well like anything I had reteach myself that dancing with myself Billy Idol style. Ruined a Mac Book Pro in the process. AND still actually processing that loss today. MAC. APPLE. PRo, but that wasnt really the best part. It was the label, the fruit some bozo didnt finish symbol. Like for some they have the The Cross or a pointy star, Mazel. Hipsters have an apple. We as a people do not consume fruit or heathy food, but we do like our APPLE.
That’s all i will say cuc I could go on forever BUT back to cumming. At 2_ old it didnt take my hand and a Loca Ricky Martin image in my head. So what. Hitachi is legit. No “prep” no unexpected voliume drop and I aint talking hairdos! Life was good, it was roughly like being 15 years old again. Minus the virgity! Well I left for Colorado 20 days earlier than planned. Which is fine but I had to see a doc here for refills. Back on the prozac. Which in my head I was thinking, dude I am about to smoke my face clean off, I dont need “happy pills”. Now I saud thnking this because she saw my face and explained they would help me discontinue a medication I take, and very much like. Probabably the only place in the universe I dont argue is the doctors office. I am self pay. I cant just be drpping all this money before I even see a nurse, monthly to possibly be turned away without my goods. it has happened and it felt like I should of shot that particular doctor in teh face. But thats just me, I watch alot of mafia movies. I am only human.
Sufficet it to say, I now I am on a path of minimalization. I want to have less stress, less heat, less meds, and less hundreds taking away every month from bank account. You cant (if you know better) just take your medicine away from your system, you gotta wein it off and even then you dont know what chemicals have shifted since the pill poppng ride began. I cant be fun, otherwise I wouldnt have need to ride that ride, right? Anyone who has been to a carnival knows what I am saying. BEEN to, not worked. Just to be clear.
Well then I flipped through the “boo-boo” book. HOLY GOD.
To be continued..