Review: The Clitoral Pump

My first impression of the Clitoral Pump was “Awesome! This must be a mini shower head vibrator that also takes your blood pressure (somehow) so you don’t over do it.” That to me sounded (and continues to sound) like an extreme achievement for the sex toy industry….I could not have been more wrong….or confused.I had never seen a “toy” like this.Not even when I worked in a sex toy shop!

The clit pump requires 2 AAA batteries that are NOT INCLUDED. Which if I could go off on a tangent here:

WHY NO BATTERIES? Seriously, the company has to know that a woman buying a sex toy doesn’t have time to worry about the MOST IMPORTANT component to any vibrating device! THE BATTERIES. I picture a woman running errands in her minivan or whatever and while “out”, strategically popped in a sex shop stop. Ya know, between the grocery store and the bank. No biggie. BUT, battery companies or toy manufacturers, don’t you think once that toy slipped into the black plastic bag it was forgotten about, at least until later when its go time?

Ok, tangent over.

Included are “Directions” which, to me, should have read “Instructions” but these “directions” included the words “love making” and “foreplay”, plus info on what makes the clit so enjoyable and quite “critical”.
….I’m sorry, but these are “beginner” toy instructions placed with the most advanced sex toy I have ever seen. FOUR separate parts come in a bag, in the box. Plus, an extra tiny sponge….?

I wish I could give a more in depth review on some toy action but honestly I dont get it. The pumping, the sucking, the vibrating with jelly ticklers? It reads like a vehicle Dr. Suess or Willy Wonka would drive!

My opinion: Patience and maybe help from a partner would benefit the woman who chooses to use a CLITORAL PUMP…I don’t suggest this to anyone buying their first toy, or even their eleventh!