I learned in the past couple of weeks since creating my poke account that not only does a baby take up all your time but also keeps you from the most basic activities. Such as going for walks around the neighborhood and/or aimlessly walking wherever, whenever with no destination. That shizz is just not possible with a 3 month old.

So what you discovered some crazy rare pokemon or whatever it is that you do in that app. I have discovered that Pokemon Go is not the greatest idea for new moms. Now I can’t help but feel a little slighted since reading about the massive groups looking for these little critters together. Sounds like fun. Then I read that this app helped Americans lose more weight (all the exercise of walking) than any health program instituted by the government. Sounds healthy. Maybe the most intriguing article I read about this damn app is about how all these people with anxiety and just an overall preference for staying at home are getting out and about and even making friends. Sounds like it would help with me being socially awkward. The real kicker though is adding all this knowledge to the fact that I played (and LOVED) the original Pokemon on my GAMEBOY in the 90s. Had the blue cartridge and the red one, I was so into it. Just me and my squirtle.

Ya know what, I don’t need this app or its shoddy graphics and human characters that dress like models from the Hot Topic website. Pokemon Go? More like Pokemon-Go-to-hell because I would rather PIKA (get it? like “pick) poopy diapers and chilling out at home instead. That’s my choice. So there.